Searching
by Talin-Love
Summary: The Rise of Skywalker fix-it fic because I am a sucker for happy romance endings and my heart was too broken after that film ; - ; Indulge me, ok? I needed a happy ending. Plus I was feeling some porn with absolutely zero plot. Clearly, spoilers ahead for TROS. Part one of three in the Sanctuary series.


He was searching. Always searching for answers. Never content with what the world presented for him. Even in death, Ben continued his search. When he opened his eyes that morning, the first thing he registered was the chilling waves that idly crashed against him. The sky was mostly clear with a few clouds scattered about. His lungs felt heavy. The pressure in his chest pressing against him, making it difficult to breathe. He pulled forward to sit up. His gut screamed as his head filled with a dull pain. Ben searched his mind for answers.

A soft touch. A gentle smile. Then the dark void closed in. He looked beyond that darkness but nothing seemed to be there. That was the end of it all.

His mother's voice crept in his ears. He could hear her exhaustion in the ragged sound. And kindness. She always mixed her stern demeanor with gentle words.

_It's not time yet._

The vibrant green moss of Ahch-to was calming under his palm as Ben leaned in to stand. His legs felt weak as he wobbled upright. The sharp nudge in his stomach brought his attention back. Ben lifted his shirt to check the damage only to find his skin completely intact. There was no wound or blood to paint him. The migraine vibrated louder as his ears filled with a ring that drowned out the ocean. His brow scrunched, thoughts exploding to allow his memories to rush in.

He was gone. Palpatine was gone. The terror that plagued the galaxy for decades had finally been extinguished. Ben watched the Last Order fleet fall to its defeat, exploding in a brilliant flash that lit the sky. He saw the people of the galaxy take their final stand to bring balance to the world. That was enough. That was all he needed to know to allow the Force to take him into the abyss. His purpose had been complete.

And yet, here he was.

_Why_ was he here?

Taking a step forward, Ben began his slow ascend up the hill. Perhaps he could search for answers there. Perhaps the world would finally make sense.

The lush vegetation was in stark contrast to the rock cliffs. The winds picked up the further he went. Ben inhaled deep, his chest filled with the earthy scent of natural decay. He could taste the salt in the air. As his eyes wandered across the scenery before him, he caught sight of fragile, white flowers that bloomed near lodged boulders. They swayed back and forth in the gust, resilient against everything the winds threw their way, never bending or breaking.

_Rey._

His heart tightened, nerves shooting up his body as reality sunk in. His breath halted in his throat. The violent beat thrashed against his chest. Ben lost his wits. The remaining strength in his legs gave out as he toppled forward, his palms and knees smacking harshly against the ground to catch himself. The ringing in his ears painfully magnified.

He wanted to scream. Or cry. Or both. The emotions rushing through him overwhelmed every fiber of his being. There was fear, confusion, and happiness all wrapped into one muddled mess. His memories brought him back to that one, singular moment where the warmth still lingering over his lips. His brain forgot how to breathe.

Was this what he had been searching for? When he told his father that he knew what he had to do, had this been his answer all along? She had been before him for so long, her hand extended to lead down a path he thought was long gone for him. Why did he not see it sooner? Why did he allow his judgement to be clouded this entire time?

A deafening boom echoed against the wind, prompting Ben to twitch in his spot. His neck snapped in the direction of the sound as he spotted an X-Wing model entering the atmosphere from hyperspace. It sped toward him, the distant speckle growing larger by the second. He prepared for shots to ignite. His body froze, expecting an impending doom. Before he could will his instinct to kick back in, the starfighter nose dived for a landing, nearly knocking out the leg gear in the process. The X-Wing crash landed into the opposite hill, soil flying out in every which direction as the metal grated into the ground below. A hiss escaped the engines that settled down.

Then he felt it.

The familiar warmth that radiated in his core was gleaming bright from within the ship. He did not need to see the owner of this light to know who it was. They never required words to express the shared connection. As his nerves calmed, he made out a voice calling his name, growing louder with each syllable. His skin set aflame.

She stepped out of the ship as the hull lowered. No, she sprinted out of the ship. The white hood flew back, revealing the strands of hair that blew wild in the passing wind. Her eyes were intent, lips parted as she heaved rough. There was pain in her expression, tears threatening to spill before he could even let out a word. She jumped onto the grass below, nearly tripping over her own legs to fall. Ben jerked forward, attempting to rise again without success as his body pulled him back down to the ground.

Rey stopped in her tracks, her hands extended before her to maintain balance. Her voice filled with agony as she whispered, "_Are you real?_"

Ben blinked as his thoughts emptied.

That's right - he died. He actually died and passed on. It wasn't just a wish as he watched the Resistance rise to overpower the Final Order. He left this world to go on. Ben sunk into his feet, placing his hands on his lap as he observed the patterns in his skin. The simplicity of himself was suddenly intriguing, his curiosity leading his thoughts in every observation. Everything around him certainly felt real. The blades of grass felt real as they brushed against his shoes. The wind felt real while it berated his cheeks with gusto. The sea that soaked his clothes after he washed up on shore, leaving him completely drenched, felt real.

Swallowing hard, he spoke up, "I think so."

It took her a few long strides to reach him. She moved so quickly that Ben did not have enough time to register what had occurred. Falling to her knees, Rey lowered herself gracefully as her hands weaved around his cheeks. She motioned his face towards her, the fingers pressings gently to his jaw to prompt him to look her way. Ben's thoughts stuttered. Suddenly she was close. Too close. _Not close enough?_

Then her lips brushed his and whatever remaining reasoning he had flown out with his sanity. Her existence was soothing. The radiating warmth engulfed him whole as his heart reached a new high. She was soft yet firm against him. The grasp over him tightened as Rey pressed forward. He could sense desperation. His mind flooded with her thoughts, smothered in pain.

_I lost you._

Ben was starting to lose track of his breath.

_Then I heard you. No… I felt you. Somewhere in the far reaches of the galaxy, your existence called out to me._

She tilted her head for better access. The kiss was growing more carnal by the second.

_I couldn't afford to think twice. I had to find you._

His hands bolted to her side, fingers digging into her waist to pull closer.

_I couldn't lose you again._

Something clicked in his heart. He fought the strong urge to continue kissing her as he pulled back. His hands slid lower, gliding over the back of her thighs. With one fluid motion, Ben scooped up from behind to guide her over to straddle him. The space between them grew to nothing as her chest pressed flush to his. Rey's grip on his shoulders tightened, clutching on while following along without a word. They stared at each other for a short moment.

The hazel in her eyes was a comfort he yearned to feel for years. Many times she looked at him with anger, harboring hatred for the First Order and channeling it full force. Too many times she looked at him with tears out of frustration, sadness, and heartbreak. He was convinced that this cycle would repeat for an eternity as they faced off against one another on two opposite sides of this war.

But not anymore. The obstacles between them were gone, crushed under the debris of a fallen Order. Now she looked at him with joy and all he could do was stare back in fascination. Her posture was relaxed for once as her shoulders fell slack. Her chest rose and fell with ease of breath releasing. The corner of her lips curved slightly to present a tender smile that he saw her only give to her Resistance allies. She bestowed that same attention and care for him now.

_Only him._

The hold over his shoulder tightened suddenly. She gripped the fabric of his coat as if sealing his escape. Not that he would run away from this anymore.

Rey's voice came out barely louder than a whisper. It seeped with delight, her happiness spilling over while saying the following, "I love you."

Tension built in his gut. His heart sped up rapidly, deafening all sound in his ears. He could sense his skin igniting with a flush that traveled up his neck. His own grip over her waist tightened.

"So I've noticed."

Her expression shifted. Processing everything, she gave a gentle push against him. A laugh erupted from deep within. "Why are you such a jerk?"

His own laugh joined in. Closing his eyes and leaning forward, Ben smiled into the skin of her shoulder. "Have you met my parents?"

Inhaling her scent, his mind filled with the warmth of her existence. He burrowed his forehead while noticing the stuttering heartbeat pound against him. Everything was so much easier now. The heavy pull that once dragged him into the dark was gone. His body felt light for the first time in a long time. He could finally let go.

"Rey," He mumbled into her as she shuddered in his embrace. The tingle shot straight to his core. "I love you, too."

It was an unspoken agreement that began when her palm glided over the back of his head, fingers tangling in his hair. He looked up just as she bent down to initiate another kiss. This one was rougher than the last. Her tongue darted out as she sighed into him. He took it all in. His thumb stopped at the hem of her pants. The tip of his fingers grazed the skin beneath her tunic, quietly asking permission. Rey nearly jumped out of her spot. Sparks erupted inside his heart, the sensation before him was intoxicating.

Her short breaths matched the steady rise and fall of her chest. Ben cocked his head, asking the question without any words, as he continued to bestow airy pecks to her lips. Cheek. Jaw. Neck. He was careful to watch for every reaction - every flinch. She nodded.

With a slip below the hem, Ben dipped his hand to a spot he only dreamed to access. His fingertips barely touched the thin fabric that covered her. He sensed the warmth grow as he pressed firm, eliciting a soft groan. Her eyes glazed over, lip biting, and hips grinding against his exploration. She was shamefully innocent.

He spent too many nights imagining this. Rey was steadfast and strong. She always knew what path to follow, where to go, and how to get there. The only time she wavered was for him and that was merely to pause long enough to get him on the same route. Everything she did was for the Resistance. All of the sacrifices she made were for the cause. He wondered if she ever stopped to consider her own needs. Had she been giving up that piece of her to keep the fight going? Judging from her rather intense reactions, Ben was willing to bet that this was a first.

And it did something wicked to his libido.

Rey staggered. Her legs were shaking by now while he worked on a steady rhythm. She threw her head back, eyes closed shut and mouth slack open as she continued mewling. He wasn't even directly touching her and she was already soaking through the fabric. Ben never took his eyes off her, observing the curve of her neck and the pulse that hammered against it. Just as she was about to fall back, he swung his free hand around to cup the underside of her ass. He pulled to keep her in place while increasing his tempo over her core.

That awarded him a moan.

Rey bucked forward. Her thoughts exploded and he picked up on every word she spoke within.

_It's too much._

Her breath rough.

_I can't focus._

She begged.

_Please, let me take a break._

Then his fingers peeked around the corner to feel the soft curls. Before Rey could utter a protest, he brushed over the exposed skin, parting her folds and pressing further. The grip around her tightened when she attempted to escape the sensation. She no longer thought words. Rather, the link they shared was flooded with her emotions as she struggled to remain at the edge. Ben leaned in to place a kiss at her chest, prodding one finger in.

She was near. He could taste it. The sight before him was exquisite. All raw instinct and crazed passion. Rey's hand shot to her stomach, clutching the tunic as if holding on to her own sanity. Her brow was scrunched and sweat dripping around the curve of her jaw.

In an instant, he pulled away completely. Her hand yanked his wrist to keep him still with no success. She stumbled. Confusion played across her expression. Ben pushed forward as his shoulders pressed into her, lowering to the ground. In their clumsy adjustment, he took off the lower garments. Boots, pants, and belt before Rey managed to process what was happening. She stared at the sky above. Her hands came up to her head to brush away the strands, to grasp at something. Anything. Then her world tilted sideways.

Raising her hips to his eye level, Ben leaned in. Their bond erupted. She was screaming in short gasps, clawing at his hair without any coordination to grab. She struggled, attempted to get away as her mind ignited in colorful sparks. He would not give her reprieve as he worked on licking the center of her being. Tongue darted in and out. Curling. Breath ragged. Fingers flicking against the bundle of nerves that made her squirm. Placing one palm over her stomach, Ben focused on his connection to the Force.

The pressure dropped and she broke.

Her voice muffled against the crashing waves as she spilled violently.

Somewhere in the depths of their bond, he heard her scream his name before everything turned to silence.

He lowered her back to the mossy ground. There was tender care in his motion, careful to keep her intact as Rey worked on returning to this world. Her thoughts rang through his ears.

_Fuck. I-! Ff…_

"I know." Ben smiled into the skin of her thigh, biting gently to evoke another laugh as she swatted at him.

Setting down her legs against his own, he crawled over her ruined physique. The tunic and shawl that remained were now loose. The hint of her breasts perked tight against the fabric, leaving little to the imagination. She struggled to find her calm.

_Is it always like this?_

He smirked, gazing down to plan how he was to expose the rest of her. "Is what like this?"

Rey propped herself upright on her elbows. The spark in her eyes matched the mischievous curve of her lips. "Your love. Is it always like this?"

That hit him like a curveball. He expected something suggestively explicit or a bashfully innocent reply. Ben was ready to show her more, push beyond her comfort point and watch her crumble all over again. For hours if it was possible. For eternity if they had the time. However, this was sweet. This had significantly more meaning than anything he thought to give her in that stolen moment.

His words lodged in his throat.

Rey noticed the prolonged silence. She pulled forward to rest on her legs again as he stumbled back. The white shawl covered her front where it fell to her lap. Reaching up, she placed her hands over his cheeks again, prompting him to look her way. There was a frightened concern in her voice. "Ben?"

He leaned away, casting his gaze to the water over the horizon. She wasn't having any of it, forcing him to look at her again.

_Are you afraid of this?_

The question slapped him across the face. Of course he was. He was afraid of what was to happen next. Physical connection was easy - he knew how to work his way around a woman's body. But emotionally connecting with another person was near impossible. Sure, he had a momentary lapse in bravery when he confessed his thoughts for her, but this was different. This was more. She was asking for more. Could he give her more?

His relationship with his parents, former master, and everyone around him proved one thing. He knew how to break and permanently ruin. Sometimes fatally.

_Don't be._

He blinked, his thoughts collapsing.

"I won't let you go back there." Rey whispered, her words stinging. "You will never have to fear your past with me."

He swallowed hard. "What if I hurt you again?"

Shaking her head, a smile crept around the corner. "People hurt one another all the time. It's natural to feel and inflict pain - that is part of our nature."

"But…"

"But your heart is pure." Rey pressed her forehead to his. Her eyes closed. "You won't do anything that will tear us apart."

_Never again. I won't let you._

Ben angled his face. His nose nudged to her ear, breath hitching rapidly. Palms over her hands, he gave into the warmth she emitted as his lips found hers once more.

He could. He was certain that he could give her more.

_You can stop searching._

* * *

**I'll miss that passionate finger touching on screen ; - ; Ha...**


End file.
